I’m Rule. Welcome to my blog. Before we go too far, I want to set the record straight on what this and my future ramblings will pertain to. The following posts will be about my on-again/off-again relationship with my mental health. Unfortunately, I’m winning at the moment and my mental health is suffering for it.
I know what you’re thinking. Mental health is soooo boring and overrated, and I should just stop being emo and grow a pair. If only the world was a wish granting factory I would make that deal with the devil. But its not.
Alas, I’m sitting here on my mom’s living room floor while I look at my 1.5 year old niece and hope she’ll never have these problems.
What problems? Currently, I am 21.5 years older than my niece and since I was 13 I have been waging a war against chronic depression, generalized anxiety disorder, insomnia, obsessive compulsive disorder, and non-purging bulimia.
Yes, you read that correctly. It might sound like I’m being overly dramatic and trust me, I really wish I were. But the truth is, when you don’t take care of one mental health problem it can snowball into something else.
Now I have a long list of symptoms of a larger problem–self harm.
No, not the kind where you cut yourself, but I’d be lying if I said I have never tried. Nope. This self harm is deeper. Well, if I’m being honest, its more like self hate.
So in response to my now decade of self hate, this blog will chronicle my journey to self love… starting with non-purging bulimia. Along the way there will be sprinkles of my random thoughts and pet peeves like how the best compliement you can give a girl is that she’s beautiful when there so many more things to celebrate besides physical appearance.
But I’m getting a head of myself…
Keep reading if you want to know what it’s actually like to struggle with these issues or if you are struggling yourself.
But fair warning: this blog will sometimes be hard to read. There will be days when my sunny disposition just can’t possibly shine through (but my saracasm will, ha!)
Depression is not long car rides down an empty road at night and eating disorders are not looking longingly into a full length mirror pretending that you’re not pretty. Mental illness is not glamorous.
You’ve been warned.