Why do you keep constructing this fantasy in your head that’s never going to happen?
You torture yourself day-in and day-out thinking about how things could be, should be, or would be.
But every day you wake up to the same world. The same depression, anxiety, numbness, and fear.
You’re still not good enough.
You’re still broken.
You’re still damaged.
You’re still needy.
Your wild fantasies of falling in love with the boy who said he’ll never love you won’t change that.
Your daydreams of the last time you saw him and how things would’ve been different if you were somehow more lovable, pretty, funny, or mysterious wont change that he’s never liked you in that way and never will.
You get so lost in the fantasy that you can’t even tell what’s real anymore.
But, the sad part is that you didn’t even want anyone until you met him, and you feel breathless trying to find the words to say that.
Trying to articulate that its not loneliness that keeps the fantasy alive. It’s actually believing that you are really meant to be.
But it’s not meant to be and its time to put the fantasy to bed.
You can’t force someone to care about you, not even in your head.